Press "1" for ...

There is recording that is making the rounds, again, through emails and facebook postings, of what purports to be an actual answering machine message of a school in Australia (this is a new detail).  It prompts the caller through the numbers to punch if the caller wishes to "lie about the reason for the child's absence," "complain about homework," "demand a different teacher for the third time this year," "want us to raise your children," etc.  It's supposed to be hysterically funny, and given the number of times I've received this email, apparently many of my friends think it is.

I used to have a great sense of humor.  Some people think I still do.  I often think I still do.  But I don't find this particular "joke" funny ... at all.  I can understand when friends who don't have children think it's funny.  I sort-of understand it when friends with "perfect" children think it's funny.  I do not, will not, can NEVER understand how a mother who has fought, as I have fought, as so many of us have fought, desperately, frantically, for our children; with school personnel who either didn't care or didn't understand or didn't care to understand - how do these parents find this joke funny?  How do they think it's funny when we keep our children home because we cannot force our quivering, crying, anxious children to go to school on a day when they are SO stressed that they can't get out of bed?  How can they think it's funny, when we have spent hours trying to work with our children on homework that our children don't understand, can't complete, and haven't been properly prepared to handle?  What is really funny about having teachers who are so awful that it is preferable to disrupt a child's school year, pull the child away from friends and a routine that is SO important, and start all over again?  And where is the prompt for reporting a school that refuses to follow the law, follow an IEP, and provide a free appropriate education for a child?

What about providing a school environment where students feel safe, nurtured, cared for?  What about a school where the students don't feel like they can't handle being in school, and parents don't have to keep them out in order to preserve their mental health?  How about homework assignments that are reasonable - that are within the abilities of the students, and that are challenging without being overwhelming and disabling?  Wouldn't it be something, if the schools thought it was a good thing for teachers to be mentors and guides for students, instead of jailers and disciplinarians?  And imagine this ... what if the schools worked with families, instead of always assuming that families - from parents to kids - were the enemy.  Really, if everyone is the enemy, what exactly, do the teachers think their jobs are?

And then, they tell us, the parents, that we are supposed to trust them, and that we're a "team."  Right.

Happily, my son is not in a public school.  His homeroom teacher is a fierce advocate for "her" children.  I am SO grateful for her.  

Residential Facilities ... Fatalities

There have been a number of disturbing, sad stories recently about residents in a local facility which is supposed to provide for individuals with serious needs - autism, cognitive impairment, etc.  Many of the residents are school-age, meaning age 21 or under; some are, I believe, older.  Some are verbal, some are not.  

The recent round of stories started with a 20 year old youngster who was left in a van on a very hot day, and died there after no one noticed his absence four five hours!  In the aftermath of this horrific incident, the story of a youngster who had run from his unit, scaled a fence, and jumped (dropped?) over an overpass onto a roadway and been hit and killed by passing traffic, has been told and re-told.  There were questions about whether the alarm on the door had been functioning correctly.  Meanwhile, a staff person was arrested in a cocaine sale in the facility parking lot.  Another incident has now been reported, wherein a resident was allegedly abused by a staff person, was hospitalized for treatment for his injuries, and then released by to the same facility.

Protesters are demonstrating outside, calling for the facility to be closed, and for all such facilities to be closed so that people can be cared for in their communities rather than in "secluded" facilities.  Those who are in charge of the facility are issuing statements assuring concerned parties that everything is "fine."  Parents are upset - they are concerned about their children, and they don't want people demonstrating at the place where their children live - it is scary for their children to see these strangers marching and shouting.  It is scary for the parents to think of their children being thrown out of the place that has been a home to them - sometimes for many years (the youngster who died in the van had lived there for 6 years).

I hate seeing tragedies being twisted into opportunities for political grandstanding.  Is the situation at this facility awful?  Yes.  Do I believe that this facility needs to be shut down?  Probably - if not shut down, it needs to have a clean sweep and start-over.  There's a problem there that is ingrained, and it's not a simple matter of one or two employees, or "a mistake."  I know, from people who've worked there, that there is a substantial attitude that is abusive, and that there is a segment of the staff that not only tolerates abuse of residents, but threatens staff who might show signs of not tolerating it - maybe not the abuse that winds residents up in the hospital, but abuse nonetheless.  Not all facilities, however, are like this.  There are facilities where the staff genuinely care about their charges.  There are places where residents are safe, loved, and cared for.  There are some people, admittedly few, but some, who may not be as safe in a community setting, and who may need the kind of oversight that these facilities can offer.  This does not mean that people shouldn't have choices - they should.  But for those for whom a facility is necessary, we need for these facilities to exist also.  They need to exist, but safely, and properly.  This facility is not a safe facility; it doesn't mean there are none.

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And now, the owners of the Pennhurst property, which was one of the biggest state institutions in Pennsylvania, are planning to open a "haunted attraction" on September 23, with an asylum theme.  The lawsuits stemming from the horrors of the abuse, neglect and mistreatment that occurred at Pennhurst led to the closing, not only of Pennhurst, but of numerous state institutions across the country.  To use the memory of those horrors as an entertainment device is beyond appalling.  That's a demonstration I could get behind!