The e-Village

Like many (most?) mothers of kids with special needs, I subscribe to a number of lists/groups online.  Some are very active, some - not so much.  Those that are active tend to get bogged down, from time to time, in silly stuff: interpersonal drama, "politics," Politics, disagreements about advice - best ways to proceed, good resources, etc.  But every so often, someone posts something - a request for something tangible, a need for a piece of equipment, and the response is unbelievable!  These people, who don't know each other, step up!  One might know of a list where such items are advertised for re-sale; one knows of an exchange group; one knows of a lending "library" for equipment; one checked an auction site; one knows of a group that "recycles" used equipment!

It is truly amazing to me, at times, what a "family" we, who don't even know each other, become through the magic of the internet.  The squabbles are as if they never happened, when something real comes up.  We pitch in.  We offer help - suggestions, advice, a listening "ear," a shoulder to cry on.  Sometimes we joke around with each other.  We vent about the lousy meetings, rejoice about the successes of our children, and share strategies for approaching difficult situations.

I started dealing with special needs before there was an internet to bring mothers together.  It was a very different world, then.  We talk now of how isolated we are, and it's true, we are.  But we're isolated only in the real world.  When we get on our computers, we find our peer groups.  Back then, there was no virtual world to retreat to.  The only way to find other parents of kids with special needs was to go out there and ... find them!  Maybe another kid who was in resource room.  Maybe another parent who let it slip that their child was "struggling" in some way that sounded familiar.  If you were really lucky, you lived in a school district with a special needs organization (PTA or something of that nature).  But it was really difficult.  Did I ever even meet another parent of a child with special needs, before my daughter went to a school for kids who learned differently?  I don't think so!  I knew they were out there, but confidentiality prevented schools from putting parents in touch with each other, even if they had wanted to.  

I am so grateful for this ability to talk to other people, through the internet - to find others who have gone through similar things, are going through similar things.  This is such a gift.  Thank you, to all my e-Village-mates!  Without you, this would all be so much harder.